COMIC LOVERS FURIOUS OVER MORE WOKE CHANGES TO COME FOR SUPERMAN, WONDER WOMAN, THE GREEN LANTERN, BATMAN AND THE FLASH!!! .. a conservative comedy piece .. **MANHATTAN** Madness! Today we learn the Woke writers of DC Comics have even blasphemed Superman's "origin" story! Hard-working, wholesome and God-fearing farmers Jonathan and Martha Kent have been written out. Why? The editors say it's because hard work offends their prized millennial readers who also gag at that repulsive concept of morality. Instead, the bastardized version begins with a persecuted Haitian couple and their newborn child in dire straits. They spend their last two bucks on a rickety dinghy and row across the ocean to the coast of Panama. Trekking north with their migrant caravan through the viper-infested jungles of South America into Mexico, they finally reach the Rio Grande. There a Los Zetas cartel kingpin demands $10,000 for passage into Laredo. Alas, our freedom-driven duo is penniless and can't pay. So they barter the kid. Kamala Harris is touched by their plight and awards them a cannabis farm in a Muslim area of Detroit known as Smallville. It is there the rocket from Krypton crashes and the boy is adopted. Just one problem. The couple knows the toddler is too white for this neighborhood and will get bullied. So they cleverly hedge their bet and name him Clark Kal-El Mustafa Hussein Achmed Muhammad el-Ibrahim Kent. On his first birthday Rashida Tlaib is named godmother. Young Clark soon becomes aware of his powers but is careful not to be discovered. His super-cold breath is used only to re-freeze melting Arctic glaciers due to climate change. And his laser-heat vision is unleashed only to burn down businesses during peaceful protests in Portland. In the TV series pilot, we are introduced to Lois and Clark's 26-year-old, bi-sexual son Jonathan. An employee of the Daily Planet for five years now, he still lives in the basement of the Fortress of Solitude and refuses to pay rent. He further irritates his father by telling everyone the "S" on his chest stands for Sphincter. Jimmy Olsen has sympathy for the conflicted Jon and they meet at the newspaper bar for cocktails. You can guess what happens next. Before long the two are shacking nightly at a dingy Metropolis hotel recommended by Pete Buttigieg. But Jimmy's office attendance begins to suffer. Lois Lane tips off Perry white to the sleazy affair and he pulls them both into his office. Jimmy's confession is immediate: "Gee whiz chief, you'd miss work too if your bum was pounded by a schlong made of steel every night!" The disgusted editor then angrily stares down our hero and demands an explanation. Superman is indifferent and asks, "Perry, does this blue Speedo make my butt look big?" Superman's virtue isn't the only one vandalized by the Woke. Yes, our beloved Wonder Woman's history gets smeared, too. Princess Diana's Lasso of Truth is no longer used to bust lying bad guys. Instead, it's wrapped around white men over age 65 to to coerce confessions of racism. The guilty are forced to surrender their property in the spirit of reparations and forbidden to watch Fox News. A freshly-minted member of the No-Justice League is bound to anger purists, as well: Transman. This nonbinary warrior scours red states to ensure new malls and schools are built with gender-neutral rest rooms. It also fights the evil forces of domestic-terrorist parents who rebel against CRT and don't want their teenage girls playing soccer against men with five o'clock shadows. Well, at least they left the Green Lantern alone, right? Ummmm, no. A CNN anchor by day, he explodes into the pitch blackness of night and uses his Power Ring to seal the butts of methane-farting cows. The bovine are then loaded onto electric planes and flown to India where they live out their lives unbutchered. Unique to this version is that Hal Jordan must hide his true identity from girlfriend Carol Ferris because she is a champion of the Defund the Galactic Police movement. Where does the insanity stop? Will Batman and Robin trade in the '66 GTO Batmobile for an armor-plated Mazda Miata? Should we expect Barry Allen to don a scarlet trench coat and become The Flasher? We can only pray the Woke go back to sleep. But if not, there's still hope. After all, any generation that munches on Tide Pods and chugs them down with Mentos and Diet Coke is bound to jump on the latest internet craze: A government-paid-for, medically induced coma. *** *** About the author: Senior citizen on fixed income wishes to work his final stage of life as a writer.. If you can, please "copy & paste share" and send a dollar to PayPal.Me/@brian89521959 Much obliged..

This is nuts. This is probably not in your kid's schools but check anyway. I know you are always on top of their concerns. AUNTIE JUST CONCERNED.